Kartana's Curse

I think you're all familiar with the Ultra Beasts, right? If your not, here's a refresher: FORGET ABOUT THEM. THEY HAVE NEVER EXISTED. IF YOU REMEMBER, YOU ARE NEXT.

It all began a few months after I began my Pokemon Ultra Sun save file. I had my Magnezone I transferred from Pokemon Platinum, my shiny Altaria I caught a few months back and was attached too, a Typhlosion, a Decidueye, a Kartana, and a Garchomp. Kartana was very close to level 100, so I used my last few Rare Candies that I bought. A few weeks later, I went and did the Ultra Warp Ride to shiny-hunt for Abomasnow. I saw a portal, but it wasn't like any of the others you would find. It was black. I decided to ignore it, and try to go for that Abomasnow, but the only portals that would show up were black. I decided to go in one. It looked like the Ultra Forest, the place where you would find Kartana normally in Ultra Sun. But instead of the usual Kartenvoys that would be next to the wall, there were statues. They looked almost like coffins. I decided to interact with it, and it initiated a battle. It said, "Cursed would like to battle!" It sent out a shiny Kartana, which was oddly level 1. I sent out my Magnezone, and selected Flash Cannon. I knew it wouldn't be very effective, but considering the fact that Kartana has low defenses and HP, and the fact that it was level 1, I knew it would K.O. But it didn't. The Kartana used a move called "Cursed Blade" and SHATTERED MY MAGNEZONE TO PIECES. When I checked the status screen, it said "Shattered." What the **** is that supposed to mean? I sent out my Altaria next, and it immediately Mega Evolved and used Perish Song on its own, as if under the influence of the Kartana. The screen said, "It doesn't affect Kartana... but your perish count fell to 3!" I tried switching out, but it said, "Can't escape!" I had my Altaria use Moonblast, and the dreaded battle was over. I tried using a revive on my Magnezone, but it said, "Can't use! Magnezone has died!" I immediately knew something was up.

I went to Google for answers, but guess what? All I saw were images upon images of Shiny Kartana. All the same, with the subtext reading, "YOU'RE NEXT" or "SHATTER NOW" and even "KARTANA DEMANDS A SACRIFICE." I closed my computer and went back to my 3DS, thinking it was some glitch that spreads through devices. When I went to talk to the Kartana, like you do to normally encounter it, it... it wasn't normal. Kartana said, "YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO MY REQUEST, JEROME." That wasn't my in-game name. My in-game name was Sun. A battle ensued. It started playing some twisted version of the Mother Beast Lusamine theme from the original Sun and Moon. My Kartana was immediately sent out, even though it wasn't the first in my party. All of its moves were replaced with Cursed Blade. I couldn't switch out, and it said, "Jerome's perish count fell to 2!" I tried powering off the system, but the power button shocked me a heat so hot it left black marks on my thumb, in the shape of a Kartana. "That's it you ******* murderer," I said. "I'm going to end your reign of tyranny." Oddly, my words were coming out of my 3DS, not my mouth. Like my Kommo-o armor-clad hero was saying it. "Jerome's perish count fell to 1!" The other Kartana proceeded to use Cursed Blade on my character, instantly shattering him. But then... something... something abnormal happened... the Kartana was climbing out of the screen.

"Jerome's perish count fell to 0!"