Talk:Pokemon RedFire Part 2/@comment-6907100-20140608203416

With both parts, the only issues are the lack of details and scare factor. I can see where this could really evolve into something, but, the thing is that grammatical errors and the fact that it is so short, so rushed, and lacking ind etail would really turn people off of it. Hm...not sure what else I could really say. All-in-all, if this is your first pokepasta then it was a good try, but, I would recommend going back and redoing the story as you develop more and more writing skills. Not meaning it in an insulting way at all. Just letting you know what I think would help :)