Talk:Pokemon OceanBlue/@comment-6907100-20140420233200

This has the potential to be something really interesting. It's really hard to make stories like these, because game neglect is something that is used quite often in Pokepastas and in video-game-related creepypastas in general. The story was really quick to the point, and while sometimes this is better, in the case of this, I would say that your character needs a little more back-story.

Perhaps talk about his childhood...how he might have lost his original blue version and got this new one to replace it? Perhaps all the fond memories of linking with friends with the cable and etc? I mean, there's lots you can put in here. Also, I would say that the haunted/hacked game could be a bit scarier too. But this is all just my opinion though.

Keep up the good work and writing! :D