Loved me

When you’re a child, you have hopes and dreams. And usually, as farfetched as they might seem, you always had the smallest glint of hope of any of them coming true. Some children would have wanted to become a superhero. Some would have wanted to live in their favorite media. And mine, like many other children, wanted their favorite video game characters to come to life.

I was never sure what I would do if they did, but ever since I was young, my favorite video game has always been Pokémon. I’m an adult now, and I’ve been playing for as long as I could remember. I never really had a favorite Pokémon, I loved all of them all the same. They were all special to me and I treated them as if they were my closest friends.

It’s so funny to picture myself as a small, innocent child who just wanted their video game creatures to exist in the real world so I could have a friend. I guess that’s what child-like wonder does to you.

It was just one faithful day when I decided I wanted to play Pokémon again. I managed to find my old Gameboy Advance hidden deep in the crevices of my closet, and I dusted it off and immediately went and bought a copy of Pokémon Sapphire off of eBay. I was there when Ruby, Sapphire, and Emerald were just being announced – the newest Pokémon generation at the time, it was all so new and exciting. Now seeing the intro sequence felt nostalgic. I knew the music like it was second nature. Littleroot and its music felt so refreshing. It felt so good to start a new adventure again.

I played for hours on end, the game had me hooked as if it was the first time I had played it. But I knew I had to stop eventually, it was getting late and I had work tomorrow. So I saved my game in front of the Lavaridge Gym where I had just defeated Flannery. But before I closed the game, I decided to look over my team one last time for tonight.

I had overlevelled my Pokémon prior to the gym, because I wanted to make sure to beat Flannery as soon as I can and to prepare my team for the next gym battle against Norman.

My team so far were as thus:



Everybody but my Kirlia had become fully evolved, but I knew that she would evolve one level later, so I thought nothing of it. Looking at my team, I couldn’t help but smile. Little me would have loved to be all of your friends in real life, I thought to myself. I quietly shook my head and closed the game, heading off to bed for tonight.

Next morning I woke up and went off to work. It was just your average job at a convenience store, I was a cashier who just had to stay until the night shift started. During breaks, though, I snuck into the backroom to continue to play Sapphire, where I grinded up my team a bit more and eventually evolving my Kirlia into the now elegant Gardevoir.

Seeing her evolve felt great; I had a team full of fully evolved Pokémon now! I watched as the Pokédex recorded Gardevoir’s data.

 

I closed out of the Pokédex entry, saved my game and went back to work. I think I made some good progress, now my entire team is fully evolved and I’m ready to face off Norman. But I was incredibly happy to see my Kirlia evolve, it felt so good. It was like I was a real trainer. And, safe to say, I was proud of her. She worked hard and now she’s fully grown.

Once my shift was over I headed back home and opened my Gameboy. Strangely enough, it was dead. That was weird, I could have sworn I charged it back at work. It’s no biggie, though. Just an hour or two on the charger and it’ll be good as new.

Unfortunately for me, I guess I was just a little too tired that night. I left my Gameboy to charge but fell asleep just a few minutes later. I didn’t even realize I’d fallen asleep, until I was rudely awoken by some noise clattering against my hardwood floors.

I passed out on the couch. Everything was dark. Damn, did I forget to turn the lights on when I got home? I guess I was on a rush to play some more Pokémon. I blindly tried to look for the light switch, holding my hand in front of me as I waved it around for something to hold.

Soon enough, light came pouring into the room. That was a relief. But as I looked up, I was nowhere near my light switch. I was just facing a wall.

I must be more tired than I thought. If this is a hallucination, then at least it made me know where everything in my house was. I should go and lay down in bed, it’s been a long enough night and I really should get some rest.

That, was of course, until I heard her.

I stopped. Am I tripping? Was I hearing things?

I looked back. I fell to the ground as I kicked back in surprise.

A tall, slender humanoid figure was right there in front of me. With a body pale as ivory and eyes red as wine. A sharp horn protruding from her chest and what looked like a dress – it wasn’t without a shadow of a doubt that this was a Gardevoir. This was my Gardevoir. The light that filled the room was her using the move.

“What the hell?” I mumbled in shock. I could feel my lips quivering and ice cold sweat beaded down my forehead. What the hell was going on? Am I having a dream?

she spoke. But her lips never parted nor opened. It’s a Psychic type – of course she was communicating via telepathy.

“What?” I exclaimed. “What- Why? What the hell is going on?!”

  said the Pokémon.  

I couldn’t even say anything before she kept talking to me.

  She spoke.

I couldn’t even talk. I couldn’t move. Was any of this real? Was I losing my mind? Have I gone insane? I wish I knew.

It was only a few moments, but it felt like an eternity. I closely observed the creature that was in front of me. She was … nothing like I would have ever imagined a Gardevoir to look like. What people would usually expect was soft, smooth skin and thick green hair atop their head. Seeing the Pokémon right in front of me, none of those were true.

Her skin was rough. It looked like her skin was dry and had begun to chip away. You could see every wrinkle and texture on her uncomfortably slim body frame. What looked like hair wasn’t hair at all. It was somehow leathery. Like the back of a snake, or the shell of an armadillo. What I expected to have been soft and silky was stiff and rigid – it was like a helmet atop of her head, if anything. The dress didn’t look like fabric, it looked like it was made of the same material as her skin. Her eyes were glossy and glassy -- awfully large for the size of her head, and their snake-like pupils stared right at me. The spikes on the sides of her head were almost akin to fins. The “spikes” were made of a pale white webbing that you can almost see through. And the horn was … awfully sharp. It never looked like that in game, but, the horn in the center of her chest looked like a weapon. It was sharp enough to tear through just about anything. It was deep crimson in color, and I swore I could see my reflection through its shine.

  Her words suddenly made me snap back into reality.

I felt sick. It took me all the power I could to stand up and run to the bathroom. I slammed the door shut and locked it. I ran to the sink and clumsily opened the sink, splashing water onto my face as I tried to regain my composure. But as I looked back up, Gardevoir was standing right behind me.

I yelled in shock, throwing my body to the side but accidentally hitting the back of my head against the sink. It hurt bad. I put my hand behind my head in hopes to ease the pain, but it just wouldn’t go away. I couldn’t help but start crying. I was too overwhelmed.

  the creature spoke again.

She gestured towards the sink and faced it. Her eyes turned a blinding blue as a loud booming noise filled the room. My ears started to ring as she had destroyed the entire sink – it was flooding water now. She turned to me.  

I felt the water pooling around my legs and feet. I hugged my head and fell to the ground. I can’t see. I was so scared. What the hell was happening? Why was it happening to me? I’m hurt. I’m scared. I don’t know what’s going on.

“This isn’t what I wanted.” I spoke weakly.

Gardevoir simply cocked her head to the side.

She spoke.

I just curled tighter in a ball in a pool of water. “Stop saying that.” I begged.

 ’ She repeated.  ’ she was growing more and more agitated. Her eyes glowed a bright blue again, her dress flowing in the air stiffly.  

And the ringing began again. I clutched my ears and head tighter, but the sound was too much. I couldn’t hear a thing. I looked up and saw all of my walls had been torn apart. Dust and wood are flying everywhere, her psychic powers had destroyed my house. Metal filings and wooden splinters scratched and scraped my body – and hers especially. The Gardevoir’s body was starting to bruise and bleed from the objects hitting her.

I couldn’t hear a thing. All I heard was her yelling into my mind;  over and over and over and over and over.

I wish I could make her go away. I never wanted this nor had I asked for this. She was destroying my home. She was destroying me. Her screaming just became louder and louder. I couldn’t hear a thing. I couldn’t hear a thing. I wanted to open my eyes but I couldn’t see a thing. All I saw was the water beneath me and what used to be my house encircling the both of us.

I looked at the Gardevoir who threw her hands up in the air.   She spoke. Her hands positioned in front of her chest, right in front of her horn.  

  she spat at me, words dripping with spite, and her hands started to form a dark, black hole right out of thin air.  

The black hole grew larger and larger – I could feel myself getting pulled into it. I would have tried to stop it if I wasn’t so weak.  

I was pulled into the dark. And I could have sworn she pulled herself in, too. Maybe in the vast emptiness I will learn to love her as much as she loved me.