Loss of control

"Stupid Rattata..." I murmured as I finished it with Scratch. That was the 7th Rattata in this dungeon, and I was starting to get irritated. "I WANT TO BATTLE OTHER POKÉMONS! NOT RATTATAS!" I yelled in frustration. My partner, Squirtle, turned around to face me. He had a confused look on his face.

"Meowth! Just calm down, we will battle other Pokémon, you'll see, just try to be more patient." Squirtle was a good friend to have. He is always there for me, no matter what. But right in that moment I wasn't thinking about that and just gave him a hateful gaze and slowly started to walk home.

"Come on, let's go home." Squirtle only shrugged and followed. We walked through the big deep-green forest and on to the road that would take us home. No one said anything. It felt good with the silence anyways. It helps me concentrate. After 10 minutes of walking, we finally arrived, Squirtle said good bye to me. I ignored him, was still upset about everything in the dungeon. Squirtle sighed and shock his head. It was hard for me to sleep that night. Every time I was about to fall asleep, the memory about the dungeon appeared, because of that I remained sleepless that night.

The sun was creeping up on the horizon. Another day had come. Meowth usually sleep during daytime, but as for me, I don't. Why you ask? It's because of Squirtle. We are a team and we explore dungeons. It's more like a job than a hobby if you ask me. I jumped out of my bed and yawned. Squirtle was waiting for me outside my house. He looked kind of sad. It was odd, but then I remember.

"About yesterday….." I started my pathetic apology. "I'm sorry…" He didn't reply. "Hello, did you hear me? I said, I was sorry!''

"Yes, I heard you. It's just that, you get mad at me so often." I looked down on the ground. Felt really ashamed. He's right. Fortunately, he is also a good friend that can't be mad at someone forever. So everything was easily forgotten and could go back to normal.

But it didn't…..

Once we were in the dungeon everything was as usual, a big forest, low leveled Pokémon, berries and items were laying in the ground that we collected. Then I felt horror, I saw, something that was the last thing I wanted to see on this planet, a Rattata. I started to growl, then hiss at the stupid rat. Squirtle heard that and he knew what was going on or… what was about to happen…. He tried to pull me back but I was too fast for him. Without thinking I attacked the harmless little Rattata that didn't have a chance in the world to defend himself. I bit it in the arm, as hard as I could and didn't let go, not a chance…. It screamed in horror and pain. When I was about to attack it again Squirtle came and pulled me away from the Rattata. He had a firm grip around my waist, to prevent the fight from getting any farther. I saw the terrified Rattata escape.

"Let go of me! You're letting it escape!" I growled and tried to break free from his grip. It worked. I'm much stronger than Squirtle. My animal instinct took over and I got a scent of the Rattata. The stupid little Rattata had cornered himself and soon I was standing in front of him. He begged on his knees for mercy. The frustration was taking control over my body, it felt like someone had poured boiling water through my veins. I didn't know what I was doing. I kicked the Rattata in his lower jaw. He flew up in the air and landed 2 feet away from me and on his back with a slam. I heard a crack noise, maybe he broke a leg. First I was still angry, but after realizing what I've done, a sharp pain hit my chest. 'No...No! What have I done? Crap, no!' I thought. The Rattata didn't move, not even a simple twitch caught my eyes. I was so sure he was dead. "…I can't…I can't be a killer!" I screamed, I was just about to pick up the Rattata and bury the evidence…..when it finally moved. It stood up on the weak little legs, shivering in pain. Bleeding from its lower lip and two teeth were missing. It tried to say something

"W-why..? Why do you hate us..? " it whispered weakly. I didn't manage to answer until he spoke again,"you hate Rattata… Rattata hates you!" it suddenly snapped. What I saw paralyzed me with great fear, you can call me crazy, insane, or mad, anything. Everybody does, but I'm 100% sure that for only 1 second the Rattata changed, he transformed into a something that looked like a blurry cloud. Pitch black with glowing eyes and a horrible grin. He looked like…like a ghost. Just thinking of it gives me the creeps. I heard a noise farther away behind me. The Rattata too, he looked behind my shoulder and dropped down dead. 'WHAT!?' I thought, once again Squirtle come to try stopping me from killing the Rattata, but it was already too late. He slowly walked up to the Rattata, and looked at it for a while then at me. Tears were rolling down from his cheeks. I will never forget his face. It was so sad, full of disappointment and his whole face was screaming "Why did you do it? He hadn't done anything! What's wrong with you!?'' he cried. For once in my whole life I felt a new feeling, something in my chest, a painful feeling. Was it sadness? I didn't know what to say, so I said the first thing that came to my mind

" We are still a team… I ….I didn't do anything! Is this sadness? DON'T YOU BELIEVE ME!? " I shouted. I've made better choices than that. My mind was just a big mess. I couldn't take it anymore; I had a breakdown of emotions and was crying nonstop so I could No longer see anything on the dirty ground. 'Where did all these feelings, I've never felt before, have to come right now?' I asked myself. I remember that Squirtle was trying to comfort me. But I only pushed him away. Okay okay……I didn't really push him away. I scratched him. He got a big scar on his left cheek from that. Then he just disappeared, left me alone crying in the deep forest where no one could hear me, I don't blame him at all for doing that.

The next thing I know happened really fast, I lost my sense of time. Maybe I had cried for days, or maybe only 10 minutes, I didn't keep track. A curious little Rattata had walked up to me and was gently inspecting me. I started to growl, I didn't even want to, I just did. To my surprise it growled back at me. My blood turned into ice when I heard it hiss at me. "Why do you hate us?" My body was too weak to move. The Rattata started to jump around me, for every jump another Rattata appeared. It was obvious that he used the move Double Team. Before I could even blink once, I was surrounded by more than 20 Rattatas. They all ganged up at me; bit me….gave me awful wounds all over my body, it was very painful, and I was bleeding harshly. All I could do was trying to cover my face and pray for a miracle. A miracle did come.

Somehow I got the strength to break free and almost tripped as I ran away from the Rattatas on my wobbly legs. I ran and I ran, every time my legs started to get tired I ran faster. I didn't dare to look behind me, only headed to one direction. My eyes were still blurry from all the crying and it was hard to see. At last I accidentally ran into a tree, hit my head and I fell backwards. Everything went black, only for a couple of seconds though. I grabbed the tree to help me get up on my feet. Unfortunately I'd used all my strength for running and was now too weak to stand up on my own. I leaned against the tree, needing to rest desperately.

Everything was so quiet; the only thing I could hear was my heavy panting. I was starting to get sleepy, but was too afraid to sleep. What happened if I close my eyes, will I ever wake up again? After some arguing with myself I decided that I could just rest for a little bit. Just a few seconds right after I'd closed my eyes I heard footsteps not too far away. My first thought was that Squirtle was out looking for me. But I knew very well that it was too good to be true. Of course, it was that Rattata again, Terrified, I watched the Rattata walk up to me. He looked serious, evil, and satisfied. There was pure evil in his eyes, they looked really dark and his pupils were as thin as paper. He had an awful mocking grin on his face, it was clear that he enjoyed this…

The Rattata's purple skin started to get lighter, a sickly light purple...his eyes became dark...and soulless...Suddenly, all four of its legs sunk into its body...and replaced with a ghost like tail...His teeth were sharp, the ears looked torn off and he had a sickly grin on his face, showing all his teeth. I stopped breathing altogether. I was in total shok and fear, there was a ghost in front of me, a. Freaking. Ghost. I always thought they weren't real. Now I know that they are real.

At first the ghost was just floating there, scaring the shit out of me. Then it grabbed my wrist, tight. It squeezed it so hard I started to scream and tears started to form out of my eyes from the pain. I felt my bones crack open and a sharp object was pushing under my skin. My skin got cut opened as a nail pressed up out of my palm. To my surprise there was no blood on it. It was all clean. The ghost snatched it out of my palm in two seconds. He was still looking at me. There was no life in those eyes, just dark and dull, but still glowing in the dark. He held the nail like a weapon. Just as I thought he was going to stab me he stabbed himself, right in the forehead. First I was confused 'What the hell is he doing?' I thought, but then it hit me.

Not curse! I yelped, closing my eyes like it was only a nightmare and that I was going to wake up any second now. This was a nightmare, a living nightmare in hell. The ghost started to laugh. His voice was dark, and scratchy, like a dark soul. My ears twitched from the gloomy laughter I just heard. I was getting weaker and weaker and then I fainted. 'Now I'm going to die… good bye world…' I thought as I closed my eyes and waited for death to come and take me away from this nightmare. … Why am I alive?

--

When I look back at this I can't help myself, I just cry. When I woke up I found myself in a small city in nowhere where only a few Pokémon live. Nobody wants to talk to me. They all think I'm crazy, which I'm not… right? Nobody believe me, they don't think ghosts exist. But that's not the only reason, my gem… my beautiful gem… it's gone. That ghost must have taken it, and then replaced it with the nail… He took everything I had. He took my best friend, Squirtle. Squirtle was actually my only friend. Or did the ghost really take him away from me? What if this would have happened, even if the ghost didn't do anything? I've lost all control. I don't know who I am anymore. I am… nobody and have nothing to live for. Why can't I die? I want to die. I wonder if Squirtle wants me to die… I miss Squirtle. … Squirtle, if you can hear me right now, I want you to know. …that… …I'm sorry buddy.

Someone, help me.