Talk:Hydration's rage/@comment-6907100-20170507173623

It's an interesting Pokepasta that shows a lot of potential. I think the moral of the whole story was good...and that towards the end the story got better, however, the story was very hard to read. Even after fixing the grammatical errors and some of the spelling, the flow of the story gets broken because the sentences are not put together very well.

Also, I believe there could be more detail all around. In reality things seem really rushed, and then the gameplay is not explained very well either. I think anyone who has not played Black/White would have no idea what you were talking about.

Also, you mentioned playing a ROM on the computer, but the whole thing with the action replay was not even mentioned until the end? I believe that was a detail that should have been introduced sooner so that the story made more sense. Hydration is an interesting character and I liked the development...so, good effort and I hope you keep improving your writings!