Talk:Dark Nuvema/@comment-35051855-20200731051301

I'll be honest, this was pretty generic. The use of Lavender Town music is very forced, it seems to take a lot of elements from other Pokepastas like Lost Silver without really adding anything new to the table, and it's mostly just another one of those "gore = scary" Pokepastas. I'll admit, as far as the story was concerned, I was kind of lost. The slurs used at the beginning was in really bad taste as well, but hey, at least it really felt like an edgy sixth grader was narrating. For what it's worth though, the grammar is pretty sound, and the way the story is narrated is done well, save for the crass language at the beginning. I'd recommend instead, the game starts with almost everyone in Unova gone as the trainer and their Pokemon wander through the abandoned region. During this time, you can create atmosphere around the deserted locations, and maybe have a few NPCs around with vague dialogue, and the trainer walks away from them, and then when they come back, the NPC's sprite is gone. They'd then come back to Nuvema Town, where they'd face the unknown entity that would be implied to be responsible for the disappearances. The entity defeats the protagonist and their Pokemon, and the save file is deleted.

All in all, 3/10. Not the worst Pokepasta ever, but not one that's going to stick with me. With that said though, this WAS your first attempt at a creepypasta, and there's always room for improvement. Definitely keep writing, practice makes perfect after all.