Talk:Tarnished Gold/@comment-30151359-20170522190844

Although this pasta is certainly better written than other ones, I think the sequence at the end with mewtwo and Giovanni and SPOOPY BLUUD had very little build-up from throughout the story, and it feels like you wrote the story before realising that nothing all that scary had actually happened, and so you wrote the end just to compensate and have a creepy twist ending.

If was created back in the day, when pastas were actually in the copy-paste format, it would be less of a problem, since you would actually have a chance of surprising people. But since this is a creepypasta everyone already knows what they came here for; that is, creepiness.

Basically, what I am saying is that if you want a twist in your story (which is something almost all famous pastas have btw) don't just settle with OOOH SPOOPY BLUUD THATS SPOOPY RIGHT, that has to be one of the most cliche and awful things can do (btw, I'm not saying the ending of YOUR story was awful, just pointing out the cliches) and EVERYONE IS EXPECTING IT.

TL;DR, Your story was good, the ending was somewhat bad, don't make your creepypasta twist be that your pasta is, yes, a pasta.

(Also if I come off as a pretentious prick, sorry, this is my first time giving criticism. I did genuinely enjoy the story)