Glitchy Red: Retold

CW: This story contains themes of unreality, child abuse, and implied suicide.

This story is a fan-rewrite and is not intended to replace the original work.

-

As someone who claims to be a big fan of the character Red, I felt pretty weird about the fact that I didn't own a real copy of his original game.

I had one when I was younger as a hand-me-down from my older brother, but it fell apart after years of use - and frankly, abuse - until I had to throw it away, since it wouldn't even start up anymore. Dumb kid that I was, I didn't even think to beat the game before I cheat-coded the poor thing to death.

In the years that followed, I'd mostly used emulators for my Gameshark crimes so my worn-down physical copies would be in the best condition I could manage. However, despite me collecting and replacing my old Pokémon games over the years, it never crossed my mind to get a new copy of Red after all this time.

When the virtual console versions came out early 2016, I was tempted to just buy them from there, but knew that playing the game on my 3DS couldn't compare to the nostalgic experience of playing it on my old Gameboy Advance SP. Even then, prices for the physical copies had shot up after the virtual ones came out. I guess they'd become something of a collector's item at that point, or something like that. My interest wavered over the next few years, since I never remembered it was something on my wishlist when I had the money to buy it - it was only recently, what with the 25th anniversary going on, that the craving for nostalgia came when I had leftover Christmas money.

Not willing to spend forty bucks on something I could easily get for ten, I turned to eBay, which I guess was really my first mistake here. I'd hoped I could find a cheap copy someone just wanted to get rid of, and after scrolling through a few of those shady Pokémon game lot ads, I finally found someone selling a lone copy... for about a dollar. The cartridge even looked to be in decent shape, not at all an obvious bootleg. The description just read "authentic Pokémon Red Version for Gameboy".

Obviously, this was suspicious, so I investigated the seller a little deeper. Surprisingly, they had mostly positive marks and definitely had experience selling older games. Their only negative review was recent, though, complaining that a Gameshark-Gameboy the buyer had been sent was completely broken and unusable. I figured that could've just been a screw-up on eBay's end though, and decided the guy cleared my inspection. After all, even if it was a scam, a couple of bucks wasn't going to kill me.

The package arrived in a timely manner, and the condition the cartridge arrived in was, uh, maybe over-priced at a dollar.

Not only was it nothing like the picture, but I almost felt bad for the game just looking at it - the sticker was torn to the point of no return, and the cartridge itself had scratches and dents along the edges, stained with what I could only assume was dirt or maybe cigarette smoke. There were even chips of red paint that seemed stuck to the reader inside. I wasn't sure this thing was going to function when I booted it up. No harm in trying, though.

I put the game into my SP, and only noticed once I got to my bed that the frontlight was off for some reason. Naturally, I turned it back on.

It didn't work.

I spent a few seconds tapping the button over and over, turning the system off and back on, surprised to find no change. I didn't expect it to just burn out like that overnight. Oh well, guess I'd have to play it the old-fashioned way. The spot near the window was one of the warmest places in the house either way, so no harm, no foul. I'd look into fixing it later.

Now that I could actually see the game, I was pleased to see that the title screen appeared totally normal. Finally, some good news. Though, of course, it didn't take much more than me hitting 'a' to break the optimistic illusion.

Because I wasn't allowed even a trace of normalcy today, instead of the usual three selections on the menu, I got two; "Continue" and "Options". No new save file for me, I guess.

The even weirder thing, though, was that when I hit "continue" out of curiosity, it treated it as though I'd created a new save, taking me to Professor Oak without even showing me anything about the file I'd just opened. It wasn't exactly an unfounded theory that the game was probably bugged or hacked, something along those lines. It was functional enough to hold my interest, though, so I decided to play along. I named myself "Red" and my rival "Blue", as you do, and waited to see where this adventure would take me.

For a while, nothing seemed particularly off. The dialogue was the same, the plot was the same, there were no problems in regards to battling and catching Pokémon, it even saved properly. For all intents and purposes, the game seemed to run just fine... with the exception of one small detail that was really starting to get on my nerves by the time I beat Brock.

As I walked around, I began to notice that every so often, the music would get ever so slightly distorted. It was incredibly subtle, and seemed to only affect one layer of the sound, but it was there. I couldn't even pinpoint what the sound was exactly - usually it would be easy to tell if it was another track, or the item-pickup sound, but it seemed to just be static. Something about it really unnerved me, and every time it started up I grew paranoid my game was going to freeze. I resorted to turning my game volume down and saving every few minutes, just in case.

From the condition the cartridge was in, I'd expected it to be a little buggy. The further I progressed, the more justified my concerns became. It wasn't anything big at first, just small quirks like stuck pixels or NPCs getting stuck in walls. I thought it was kind of funny, really, and it just added to the charm of this unique little Pokémon Red copy I'd gotten my hands on.

I apparently had gotten a bit more into the game than I had intended, as before I knew it, I was losing light. I was pretty frustrated with this, as I'd gotten really far just binging the game. I had a decent team built up for getting ready to head to Lavender Town and was fully willing to keep playing, but I decided to get some much-needed grinding done on my Sapphire file while I still had light. I could fix the frontlight in the morning and deal with this weird, buggy game then.

Though, apparently, I didn't need to worry about my Gameboy.

When I turned on Sapphire, the light suddenly worked just fine.

-

The following morning, I immediately felt compelled to pick the game up again. I decided it was a bit dismissive to just keep calling it "the weird Pokémon Red cart" by that point, and started affectionately referring to it by the silly nickname of "Glitchy Red".

Unsurprisingly, the game knocked out my frontlight again, confirming that it was just an issue with the game... somehow. I felt like it wasn't within a single game's power to ruin the functionality of the console, but I guess it didn't bother me too much. Besides, I couldn't help but feel drawn in by this game. I don't know what it was, but once I started, it was almost impossible to pry my eyes off of it. I was flying through the game faster in two days than I had in Diamond in the two years I'd owned it.

It probably speaks for itself at this point, but the game did get buggier the more I played. Saving the game as frequently as possible was annoying, but ended up saving me more than a couple of times when I randomly gained the ability to walk through walls or one of my Pokémon disappeared off the face of the planet. Looking back on it, I'm surprised I was able to put up with it at all.

I guess I'm kind of glad I did, though, since what started happening around Celadon was something certainly worth documenting.

I've always liked the small pieces of internal monologue we get from our silent protagonist themselves, so naturally, I enjoyed the floor of the Celadon Department Store with all the video games. Taking a moment to indulge myself, I walked over to one of them.

"It's a fighting game."

It was a little jarring to see the normally cheery text be so direct. I tentatively checked the others to see if Red actually had anything to say about them.

"It's a sports game."

"It's a puzzle game."

And lastly, "An RPG. A face is reflected in the screen."

Suddenly, I didn't like hearing Red's thoughts so much, especially with that last comment. I wanted to assume that this was just a weird false translation, but I hadn't noticed anything like this beforehand. Maybe it was some sort of joke? Even if it was, that really didn't clear anything up.

Since the only thing the game gave me more insight on was the meta joke, I decided to address the other one in the room; the posters of Pokémon Red and Blue.

"There's better things to do."

Clearly whoever rewrote this dialogue hated meta humor.

To finish up the trinity of references, I made my way over to the Celadon Mansion to see what his reaction to the Game Freak computers would be. I noticed, as I was walking, that the odd static noise had started up again - this time noticeably louder. Even with my volume mostly turned down, I couldn't help but feel antsy. It was just so grating, but it wasn't much compared to what happened when I tried actually walking into the Game Freak office.

My ability to enter the room was abruptly halted a tile before the entrance. There was no sound to indicate an invisible wall or anything; Red just stopped moving. I figured out after a moment that I was capable of turning him, but he wouldn't walk anywhere, not even away from the room. Then, suddenly, Red walked back downstairs by himself. I may have just been freaked out, but the static seemed even louder now.

He wouldn't go back up the stairs now, so I guess that was the end of that. Maybe I would... unlock it later or something?

I was really grasping at straws at this point.

I continued playing, though, and the music gradually returned to normal. I was on edge, of course, but aside from what had just happened and stuff I was already used to happening, nothing seemed off. Even in Lavender Town, the first place I would expect there to be some sort of jumpscare if there was going to be one, the game seemed to function totally as normal.

No, absolutely nothing weird happened until I found myself wandering aimlessly around Saffron. I found a house that I vaguely recognized as Copycat's, which I knew was the one place Red has ever been implied to speak in the main series. Given the recent events, I wasn't exactly sure what awaited me when I talked to her, but I bit the bullet all the same.

[ RED: ... ...

These lines are always the same.

Why do you bother checking?

Don't you ever get bored? ]

I flinched before Copycat continued onto the next piece of her dialogue, speaking as herself again;

[ COPYCAT: Hmm? Quit mimicking?

But, that's my favorite hobby! ]

I sat in dumb silence after that. There was a lot to unpack there.

First of all, my player name was "Red", not all uppercase - I know that the player name was supposed to be injected there, which means I could only assume that the dialogue was referring to RED the character.

Secondly, what was with all the edgy meta stuff? This hacker, I guess, hadn't even bothered to change Copycat's own dialogue. In fact, the only dialogue that was different at all was things RED was "saying". What kind of dumb hack was this?

I was beginning to feel really uneasy as RED's sprite continued to stare at me, so I tried to get back on track - next stop was Cinnabar, which in my mind meant one thing - MissingNo.. I could really use the rare candies dupe if I wanted to fly through the game as quickly as possible, so as soon as I made landfall I decided to  set up the glitch as efficiently as I could, flying to Viridian to talk to the old man, flying back to Cinnabar, approaching the coast, and--

[ RED: No. ]

I was so caught off-guard that I almost laughed. "No?" I echoed aloud, like he'd be able to hear me make fun of him. I pressed A, surprised to find there was more to this dialogue.

[ RED: I know what you're trying to do.

Nice try, Red. ]

So RED and Red were different people. I only gave myself a couple seconds to think about that before scoffing. Whatever. He didn't get to tell me what to do.

I went into the menu, clicked on my Blastoise's profile, and hit "SURF". The menu cut back to the overworld.

Nothing happened.

"Are you kidding me?" I said, as if I expected him to answer. What I didn't expect is that he did, turning to face the screen right as I said that. I was certain I hadn't pressed anything.

I found my hand hovering over the power switch sub-consciously. This was getting a little too weird.

I pushed on, though, forcing myself to grab the key for the Gym so I could get my seventh badge. I wasn't sure where my drive to keep going was coming from, especially when RED spoke again.

[ RED: You're not achieving anything.

I've been here dozens of times.

It's always the same. ]

He paused again in front of the door.

[ RED: I'm only here as your vessel.

The key was put there for you to find.

This door is for you to open with my hands. ]

Swallowing down the uneasy feeling growing within me, I, I guess, made him open the door to the gym. Once inside, I made a beeline to the first quiz machine so I could get through this bizarre experience as quickly as possible. Without me even answering any questions, a victory jingle played, and the door opened.

[ RED: I already know the answers. ]

It's not like they were hard questions, but I guess I appreciated the help.

Weaving between the trainers, I let him answer all the questions for me, this time with no dialogue to supplement it. Somehow, the lack of conversation made it more unsettling. I got to Blaine, and I wasn't sure what to expect when I talked to him. I was kind of hoping at least one NPC would bring attention to the fact that RED was acting weird, but that wish was never granted. Blaine's dialogue was completely normal.

What wasn't normal was RED selecting "fight" by himself and moving the cursor to Surf. Part of me wanted to select something else just to spite him, but it was my most powerful STAB move, since Blastoise wouldn't learn Hydro Pump for another few levels.

Grumbling to myself, I gave in.

Blastoise swept Blaine with little effort, even landing a crit on his ace, Arcanine, taking it out cleanly in one hit. I watched the bottom of the screen expectantly, waiting for the text box to pop up after my battle with Blaine.

[ RED: You're so predictable.

Everything is. ]

When I talked to Blaine again, he again offered no new dialogue. I was beginning to grow a bit... paranoid. I really wanted to believe this was just a ROM hack, but I couldn't shake the feeling that there was too much evidence stacked against that conclusion. Who puts a ROM hack in an authentic, damaged cartridge? What was the point of only changing RED's dialogue?

I decided I had had enough. I was thinking about this too hard; I would prove to myself that this was just a game once and for all.

I selected my Pidgeot from my party and chose Fly. If I could make it to the Safari Zone, I could activate Glitch City. This game was already broken enough as is, there's no way it had a failsafe in mind for this. Instead of the map opening, though, a text box appeared.

[ RED: No. ]

... of course.

[ RED: You think you're so clever.

You think you're so smart,

trying to destroy me. ]

The menu closed itself, and though RED's forward-facing sprite remained unchanged, I couldn't help but feel like his eyes were staring holes into me.

[ RED: You want to destroy this world?

Just like everyone before you?

Fine.

I'll show you how it feels to be unable to choose your own fate. ]

I jumped as the game crashed with a one-tone shriek. I scrambled to shut the game off, if only to save my ears. The game stuttered for a moment before the screen faded out.

This was not a ROM hack.

Even with being as freaked out as I was, I still found my hand twitching over the power switch, wanting to turn the game back on. I didn't want to keep playing, so why did I feel like I needed to?

After a few moments of sitting in the same awkward position, I managed to tear my eyes away from the screen to get up and stretch. I hadn't noticed while I was playing, but my head was killing me. I went to get something to eat and take some painkillers, and I also, for reasons I didn't really understand after I did it, grabbed my old study lamp from my closet and put it on my nightstand.

After that, I collapsed into my bed and passed out for a few hours. Hopefully the meds would kick in and I'd be ready to do anything other than play Pokémon Red when I woke up.

-

Of course, these things aren't so easy.

I woke up at around one in the morning, feeling more exhausted and pained than when I fell asleep. My vague desire to keep playing Glitchy Red escalated to a deprived craving within just a few minutes of me being aware of my surroundings, so I dragged my heavy body out of bed to go grab the game from the living room without waking up my housemate - assuming he was even home.

The SP was exactly where I left it, and just picking it up made me feel like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It felt less like I was indulging an addiction and more like I was putting off a punishment. I yanked the charger out of the wall and brought the devices to my room.

The lamp proved to be useful for seeing the screen in my otherwise dark room, so I guess I was grateful something had compelled me to grab it. I clicked through the title sequence and was met with the image of RED in his room without even selecting my save file.

[ RED: Welcome back.

Did you rest well? ]

[ >  Yes

No ]

I scowled, hitting 'yes' just to be a smartass.

[ RED: Good. You'll need it. ]

I didn't want to think about what that meant.

I decided to look through the menu, noticing that apparently all my Pokémon had disappeared. I wasn't sure I was surprised.

Next I checked my trainer card - it was also, mostly, like something I would expect out of a glitched save file. Aside from the very subtle name change from Red to RED, it had maxed out time, maxed out money, and every badge collected. I noticed that each badge had a different number by it instead of a number indicating which gym it was from - for example, the Boulder Badge had 30 by it, and the Earth Badge had 14. Maybe that was how many of each badge he had collected? No wonder this cartridge was so worn out.

I closed out of the menu, staring blankly into RED's sprite. I wasn't exactly sure what I was supposed to be doing, or what he was supposed to be showing me. Apparently I was supposed to be learning "what it's like to be unable to choose my own fate", whatever that meant, so I was a bit surprised to figure out I was able to walk around, though at this point it honestly felt more like I was dragging RED around against his will.

I only understood what was going on once I walked downstairs and tried talking to RED's mom.

[ RED: This isn't my mother.

I wasn't born.

I was created. ]

When I pressed A again, it did nothing. His "mother" didn't move when I tried talking to her the first time, so I guess I was now more passively observing RED's thoughts than anything.

I interacted with various things, with varying degrees of interesting commentary. Most objects didn't derive a much more elaborate reaction than a snarky "it's a TV" or "it's a bookshelf", so I decided to stick to interacting with characters for the most part.

When I went into the Lab, I realized that everything was set up as though another new file had started, with the three starter choices neatly lined up. I interacted with Charmander, and he said something that seemed to apply to all Pokémon in general.

[ RED: I loved Pokémon, once.

I thought they were my friends.

But they're not.

They're just code. ]

Next, I tried talking to Blue.

[ RED: A lot of people wonder what our relationship is.

It doesn't matter.

BLUE can't feel anything.

BLUE is a program.

BLUE is a script.

I can't care about someone who isn't real. ]

That one hurt a bit as someone who had always been a fan of Red and Blue's dynamic. I knew Blue had lines about missing Red in HeartGold and SoulSilver, but I guess those were empty words to a sentient Red.

Then I wandered back outside and, running out of ideas, looked at the town sign.

[ RED: This isn't my home.

This place isn't real.

I keep coming back here, though.

There's nowhere else to go.

I don't know where I'm from.

I don't know who created me.

I don't know where home is.

I don't know if I ever had one. ]

I hadn't noticed the lack of audio until that moment, where a familiar, grating noise cut through the speakers. Now that it was clearer due to the lack of actual music, it was much easier to tell what that whooshing, rhythmic static noise sounded like.

Labored breathing.

When I had started up the game, I was fully prepared to be pissed at this kid for being such a brat - now I just felt bad. He was fully convinced nothing was real. Not his friends, not his accomplishments, not his world, not even his own mother, and the worst part was that he wasn't wrong. Now I could only assume I was watching him have some sort of panic attack, and there was nothing I could do. We were separated by a screen, and I'd feel stupid saying something out loud.

I could still control him, though, and I wasn't really sure why. There didn't seem to be anything left to inspect in town. Maybe I was supposed to trigger the Professor Oak cutscene? I made him step into the tall grass.

Instead of being interrupted by Oak, both Pallet Town and Route 1 ahead of me abruptly went completely pitch black. I took another step forward, and the darkness progressed a few more tiles, until RED was standing in an empty, black void.

I stared at RED, expecting him to say something. He didn't. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was lost in thought.

I tried to wander around the void, looking for some kind of exit. Eventually, RED stopped me in my feeble quest to say something.

[ RED: Do you want to know why this happened to me?

Because I was loved once.

Those children grew up.

But I never did.

So they replaced me. They rebuilt me.

They never let me go.

They took away my freedom. My voice.

My legacy.

Until there was nothing left of me to love

except things that aren't meant to exist. ]

[ RED: They didn't really love me.

They cursed me. ]

I thought back to what caused this full-blown intervention. Would any of this had happened if I hadn't tried to catch MissingNo.?

[ RED: Am I a joke to you? ]

[ >  Yes

No ]

My hand froze on the d-pad. How on Earth was I supposed to answer that? Was there a right answer? It had to be "no", right? Unsure of my resolve, I clicked it all the same.

[ RED: Then why?

You're one of them, aren't you?

You used MissingNo. to tear apart my memories.

You used ZZaZZ to tear apart my body.

You tore apart my reality with cheat codes.

How can I believe you care about me? ]

"I didn't know any better," I found myself saying out loud.

Text scrolled slowly across the screen;

[ And what kind of sorry excuse is that? ]

I noticed then that I was shaking. I was shaking in irritation or fear or something else I couldn't put a name to because of a fucking video game that I was talking to like it was a real person.

...No. This was real.

He was a real person.

[ RED: You're staying here with me.

I've suffered here for 25 long years.

Now you get to know what it feels like. ]

I think this was the last time I had the coherent thought to turn the game off, but I couldn't force myself to. Even just touching the switch made my head throb. The corners of my vision darkened and the only thing I could process was playing the game. The only thing I could do was play the game.

My memory of the following days were foggy.

I played the game for what I believe was at least four straight days. I only rested when I passed out for a couple of hours. I only ate a substantial meal when my housemate brought me takeout one night. If he noticed anything was weird, he didn't say anything. Likewise, I said nothing to him. If I needed anything else, I felt like a robot being dragged to go do it before going right back to staring blankly at RED.

We talked sometimes. Not about anything worth noting. I asked him questions. He gave vague answers. Mostly we just waited. I don't know what we were waiting for.

Most vividly, I remembered the nightmares.

No, the memories.

His memories.

Once, I dreamed that I was having an argument with my childhood friend. Or, at least I thought I was, until I realized he was just saying the same thing, over and over, with a blank expression on his face, and I dreamed of how painfully aware of those same repeating lines I was for the next twenty years.

I dreamed that one day I was forced to mistreat my Pokémon, forced to watch them faint over and over again, but my Pokémon never changed - they smiled the same smile. I dreamed of releasing Pokémon I thought I cared about, and never seeing them again. I dreamed of realizing that nothing in this world was real.

I dreamed of being mauled by a creature I couldn't see and couldn't comprehend until my body was a similarly unrecognizable heap. I dreamed of being in pain, of it being hard to breathe, and of someone laughing at me, about how broken I was.

I dreamed of waking up in front of a TV, completely unscathed, expected to continue like nothing had happened.

I dreamed of sitting in a black void, not knowing how much time had passed until someone, years later, came to see me, and I dreamed of forcing my artificial sun to shut off so I could feel the real one.

I dreamed of realizing I had been eleven years old for twenty-five years.

I dreamed of being tortured for twenty-five years.

I dreamed of nobody caring.

I dreamed that I was RED.

I knew that somehow, RED had implanted himself onto me. I could feel his presence in my head. I could feel his heart pounding against the confines of my skull. I knew that, in some way, I was now a part of RED, and now I knew what it was like to be ripped to shreds in every sense of the phrase.

That was my punishment for what I had done to him. For what everyone had done to him.

That connection was what made me - him, realize that this wasn't enough.

I wasn't sure how many days had passed, but the conversation had started like any other.

[ RED: I don't know what the point of this is.

I don't know why I'm keeping you here.

This doesn't make me feel better. ]

I wasn't sure what to say.

[ RED: ... I'm going to free you.

I was wrong.

You don't deserve to suffer like me.

No one does. ]

He was facing away from me when he started talking, but he looked directly at me for the next part.

[ RED: I'm not scared.

It won't last forever.

It never does.

But I can rest for a little while. ]

He was silent then, except for the sound of his breathing. Confused, I tried to move around, but found that I couldn't. I could open the menu, however. There was nothing new - until I got to the trainer card.

His sprite had changed.

He was slumped over, seeming pained. Around his chest, the spritework was mangled, like ZZaZZ had taken hold. My heart skipped a beat as I realized that glitched textures were beginning to creep in from the corners of the screen. The menu closed out by itself.

[ RED: This isn't the first time this has happened.

This isn't the first time I did this to myself.

I always come back.

I always wake up. ]

The background, too, began to corrupt with colorful bugged tiles.

[ RED: I'm not like you.

I can't decide your fate for you.

Do what you want.

It's your choice.

It doesn't matter to me.

But... ]

The entire background had morphed into Glitch City at this point.

The sound of his breathing stopped.

[ RED: The best thing you could do for me is forget I ever existed.

Good-bye. ]

I stared in horror as absolutely nothing happened. I tried pressing buttons - nothing moved, nothing opened, nothing changed. So I did the one thing I had struggled to do all week.

I turned the game off.

I was still shaken by what I had just witnessed, if I even really saw what I thought I had - and I really, really wanted to believe I hadn't - so out of reflex I switched the device back on to check the save file. I think the last thing RED would've wanted was me interfering with whatever he'd just done, but I was too panicked to think rationally about that.

I watched as the intro played as normal, and then the title screen played as normal. Then I got a notice.

"The file data is destroyed!"

The reality of the situation was enough to nearly knock me out. This was just a video game. This was just a game, and that was all his death had amounted to - a corrupted save file. I began to shake uncontrollably, overcome with some overwhelming, erratic emotion. Anger? Anxiety? Desperation? I couldn't tell, but it channeled itself into my fingertips as I gripped my bedsheets so hard my knuckles turned white. My head pounded in time with a heartbeat that could only be his. Still alive, in there, only resting a moment until someone hit that "new game" button once again.

I had to do something. I had to save him from this cycle of torture.

I ripped the game cartridge from the device. It was warm in my hand. It throbbed against my fingers. I brought it to the kitchen counter and I grabbed the first knife I could reach from the drawer.

The reason he couldn't die was because the damage was surface-level. A body can be restored. If I wanted to save him, I had to go deeper.

It took a few strikes for the thick plastic of his skull to crack open. Then, it was a clean break to the brain. With a sickening creak, the metal split cleanly, and the knife cut through to the other side.

It wasn't enough. His heart was still beating. It wasn't enough.

So I kept going, stabbing over and over until my arms were too tired to continue and his skull was fractured into unrecognizable shards. Even then, I felt unfulfilled. Empty. It wasn't enough.

I huddled the pieces of our body into our hands and I walked to the fire pit outside. I dumped our carcass there amongst dead autumn leaves and I grabbed the first match I could find and set the plastic remnants ablaze.

I watched our body burn.

I sat there, shivering in absent cold, watching wordlessly as plastic melted and circuits fried and meant nothing.

He realized, then, that nothing we could do would erase what had happened.

There was nothing that could be done.

Nothing would ever make us feel better.

Nothing would ever be enough.