Top Percentage Rewritten

Note
I did not make this. The original version was not wrote by me, this is me rewriting it. This originated on the F*** yeah pokemon creepypasta.

When I first bought it, I played SoulSilver obsessively for weeks. I loved everything; the pokemon, the people, and the storyline. My beloved team consisted of Typhlosion, Gyarados, Furret, Ampharos, Dragonite, and Sandslash. I loved them all dearly, and thanks to my Pokewalker, I leveled them all up easily. Another source of amusement for me was the Pokegear. I loved that people you had met could ring you up and request a battle, or just rattle on about nothing. My favorite of the regular callers was, of course, the infamous Joey.

“Hey, you know my super-cool RATTATA? My RATTATA is different from regular RATTATA. It’s like my RATTATA is in the top percentage of all RATTATA, you know what I’m saying?” he’d always say.

Then, one day, he called me for a battle. Well this was new. He’d never asked for a rematch before. As I remembered, he only had his rattata. Suspecting that his rattata had maybe risen a few levels, I traveled back to where Joey stood.

“I’ve been waiting,” the text read. “Wait until you see how much RATTATA has changed!”

The battle music started and the screen split. To my surprise, Rattata had become a Raticate! I couldn’t put my finger on it, but there was something different about its claws. They were yellowish and had a brick pattern, like they belonged to another pokemon, but at the time I didn’t give it much thought.

As I expected, Joey’s Raticate had grown to level 30. I sent out Gyarados. Raticate attacked first, and used Dig. At least Joey updated his Raticate's moveset. Anyway, my Gyarados wrecked it with crunch. Raticate fell with a scrambled cry that was different to how I remembered it, but again, I didn’t think much of it. The screen returned to the overworld.

“Oh, all right,” Joey’s text read. “But I won’t lose to you again! RATTATA will be stronger next time we meet!” and handed me an Iron.

I giggled. Joey was still calling his Raticate a Rattata. It was a few days later and I had beaten the final gym before the Elite Four. I was about to head into Victory Road when I got a call from Joey. He wanted to battle again. I thought it’d be some okay EXP, so I flew back to route 30 and talked to Joey. The battle started and this time, I knew something was horribly wrong. Raticate was sporting an orange, fiery tail, like that of a Rapidash. In addition, the area around its new tail was a purplish-red color, like it was bruised or bleeding, and I could see grotesque stitches holding the tail on. Oh god, what did Joey do?

When the Raticate used Fire Blast, I realized with horror that he had done exactly what I thought. Raticate let out a scrambled noise. It sounded like it was in pain. "RATICATE was hurt!" the text read. Raticate’s health went down by a quarter. Fire Blast didn’t affect the user, so I was confused until I realized that Raticate was not used to using fire attacks, and its body was being damaged by the foreign attack type.

I didn’t want to hurt the Raticate further, but I had to. I sent out Gyarados and used Surf. It was super-effective, and Raticate fainted. When we returned to the overworld, Joey said, “And yet another loss….no doubt about it - you’re tough! Being beaten this often actually feels good now! Still, I sure wish RATTATA was stronger!”

"It’s a Raticate!” I screamed at the DS. “Stop calling it that! Stop hurting it!"

Joey, of course, didn’t hear me. Instead, he gave me an Iron.

I promised myself that I would never battle Joey again, even if he called me. A couple of weeks passed, and I had entered the Kanto region. I had almost forgotten about Joey when I received his call, inviting me to battle. I ignored it and continued down Route 5. Then, he appeared in front of me, as if he teleported to me. I shrieked and threw the DS away from me. When I picked it back up, I saw I was in a battle.

Raticate had a pair of white-blue wings attached to his sides as well as the Rapidash tail. Maybe from a Pelipper. The area around where the wings were stitched on was horribly messy and red. Raticate went first and used Fly. It said the move faileld, then the words "RATICATE was hurt!" flashed across the screen and took a third of its health. I took the rest with my Typhlosion's Flamethrower.

I got called back two more times during that month. And each time, the attacks it used (Thunderbolt and Solar Beam) would take off more of its health until I knew the next time we fought, I wouldn’t have to attack at all. From what grotesque addition, I knew that it had a Ivysaur's bulb and a Magnemite's magnets. When he did call me, I knew I couldn’t escape so I just went along with it. By now, Raticate was so gory and full of stitches that I could hardly recognize it. I felt like vomiting. Raticate now had a face similar to a Glalie and a belt which I believe came from a Hitmonchan. I was terrified at the fact that so many pokemon had died to disfigure the damned Raticate further, but I decided it didn’t matter. Raticate used Ice Beam. This did a surprising amount of damage to my Ampharos, but as I suspected, the damage Raticate took depleted its health bar completely.

Raticate let out an anguished yowl and disappeared from the screen. Expecting to see the words "RATICATE fainted," I was shocked and horrified to read the words "RATICATE has died!" instead. I stared at the screen. Dead? No crap, look at what Joey did to it. The battle just... ended after that. I found an extra Iron in my bag later.

Thoroughly spooked, I left for Kanto again. I wanted nothing more than to forget this incident. I was convinced that I would never have to battle Joey again, his only Pokemon having apparently…died.

I was wrong.

I was just about to enter Mt Silver when I got the call. I swore when I saw it was Joey. What more could he do with a dead Raticate? I picked up and he said "My Raticate has obtained the godly power of Arceus himself! You'll never defeat me now!" Me, being the idiot I am, flew over and went to battle Joey. I almost threw up.

Raticate now had the golden rings that were on Arceus surrounding him now. It looked like some weird fusion, and it was horrifying. The image was so terrifying, so horrible, that I could barely look at him. Raticate used a move called "Fang of Satan". The attack hit my newly, gained Machamp, but did a ton of damage. It was my turn to attack. I used Cross Chop, hoping I’d get lucky on my first try. However, a textbox appeared on the screen. "MACHAMP is too terrified to move!" I cursed. Raticate attacked again, this time with Extreme Speed. This fainted my Machoke. I then sent out my Typhlosion. Raticate used Extreme Speed and OHKO'd my Typhlosion. It went on and on until my whole team fainted.

The battle wasn't over yet though. My player sprite rolled up on screen. I pressed fight, and my only option was to use Struggle, apparently. It did almost no damage to the Raticate. Raticate then used Guillotine, and my sprite's head fell off. I'll spare you the gore details.

I was back in the overworld apparently, I couldn't move, as I was dead, and Joey walked away. I just turned off the game at that point. Anytime I came back to the game, I would just be stuck dead.

Eventually, I reset my game, so I could play again. Youngster Joey was strangely gone, with an Item Ball containing Iron. I eventually ended up Action Replaying my way to the old Arceus event. I was going to battle Arceus, but then...

"Youngster Joey wants to battle!"